Yitro: Who Covers Shabbat Expenses?

Rich Brother, Poor Brother

There were two brothers who lived in a town far away from their wealthy father. Isaac, the older brother, lived comfortably, while Mendel, the younger, had a much harder time making ends meet. In fact, he was quite poor.

One day, Isaac received a letter from their father. It was an invitation to the wedding of their sister. The father added a note: “Don’t worry about the costs; I’ll reimburse you for all expenses.”

Well, that was enough to send Isaac into a spending frenzy. He rushed out to buy a new suit for himself, a fancy dress for his wife, and fine clothes for his children. If only the story stopped there, it might have been a happy tale. But, as you can guess, things were about to go sideways.

Before setting off for the wedding, Isaac told his poor brother, “Come along, let’s travel together. It’ll be a grand affair!”

The two brothers arrived at their father’s house amidst all the festivities. Isaac and his family were decked out in their finery, while Mendel... well, he was in the same raggedy suit he wore at his Bar Mitzvah.

At the end of the celebrations, Isaac presented his bill to their father—a detailed list of all his wedding expenses. But the father, reading over it carefully, shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but I won’t be paying a penny.”

Isaac was stunned. “But you promised! I even have your letter right here! You said you’d cover all my costs!”

The father smiled knowingly. “Ah, I didn’t promise to pay for everything. I said I would cover all expenses on my behalf.”

Isaac blinked. “On your behalf? What does that mean?”

The father looked at his eldest son. “Tell me, Isaac, did you buy clothes for Mendel? Did you think to buy him something decent so he wouldn’t show up in rags? If you had truly considered me in your purchases, you would have realized that honoring me means taking care of those around you. Instead, it seems you were more interested in your own enjoyment.”

Whom Are We Honoring?

The Sages teach us that God wants us to enjoy Shabbat, and in His kindness, He ensures that the expenses are covered. As it says, “All expenses for the year are set from Rosh Hashanah, except for what one spends to honor the Sabbath and holidays” (Beitzah 15).

We are expected to invest in Shabbat—whether it’s in food, clothing, or festive preparations. But here’s the test: if we lavishly care for our own family, while our fellow Jew, our brother, spends Shabbat in poverty and isolation, have we truly honored the day? If our celebration is solely for our own pleasure, then our actions are not lesheim shamayim, for God’s honor, but rather for our own.

When we stand before God, asking for His blessing to cover our Shabbat expenses, God might respond, like the father in the parable, "Why should I cover these costs? You’ve made them for your own benefit, not Mine."

(Adapted from Mishlei Yaakov, pp. 286-287)