Unless, of course, the road is muddy or blocked by low-hanging branches. In that case, the son suddenly finds himself in front, clearing the way. Respect, after all, does not mean letting your father trip over a tree root or get whacked in the face by a branch.
A similar situation unfolds when Shechem and Chamor come to negotiate with Jacob over Dinah. "Negotiate," though, is a polite word for an ugly truth. Shechem had kidnapped Dinah, violated her, and then had the audacity to ask for her hand in marriage.
Yet Jacob remained silent. It was his sons who did the talking (Gen. 34:13).
Now, under normal circumstances, they wouldn’t have dared speak in their father’s place. But these were not normal circumstances. This was a mess. And Jacob, the man of truth and tents of study, had no business wading into this particular swamp.
So his sons took the lead. The Torah describes their words as mirmah—cunning and calculated. Not because they were being devious, but because they were maneuvering to spare their father the indignity of handling the sordid details himself.
There are times when respect means following, and times when it means stepping ahead and clearing the way. Jacob’s sons understood this. And so, with wisdom and a strong sense of honor, they led.
